I'm struggling to find a way to cancel Christmas. I'm going on 75 and already dreading the holidays. I do all the work, cooking, cleaning, and decorating. My grandsons are 20 and 15. They never even acknowledge getting gifts much less a thank you. I live with my adult son and right after Thanksgiving he asks me when the tree is going up. He seems to want to bring back childhood memories, but doesn't want to help.
From the day my grandsons were born I'm gone overboard on gifts and now I'm paying for those mistakes. In fact the only Christmas gifts the boys have gotten have come from me or ones bought from money I've given to my daughter and her husband. Money is tight they always say. How do I stop this craziness without feeling guilty and making everyone mad? It's just October and it's already stressing me out. I don't want to do this any more it's not good on my health.
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There is no reason why you should be responsible for all this. Are there really no other people in your family who know how to cook and clean?
I would suggest you still keep in touch during the Holidays. Sending out cards and baking cookies for the neighbors are the fun and low-key parts of the Holidays, besides being inexpensive. Just resist hints that money or gifts are wanted. Pretend these hints are going right over your head.
If you've elected yourself Queen of Christmas, you can certainly unelect yourself, and the sooner the better.
Wow! This is a perfect time to decide on a little (big?) vacation during the holiday season! Travel is uplifting and very rewarding!!!
I was just going to say the same thing DCA! Great minds!!
I would combine both of those ideas from the previous posters. Write to everyone and tell them you will not be hosting Christmas, nor exchanging gifts. Tell them it is too much of a strain for you. And then look for a vacation trip that you can take. When my husband and I were young we took trips a Christmas for several years, as that was the only time we were able to get away because of our jobs.
We have gradually downsized Christmas. I do very little shopping for Christmas but a lot of cooking.
Our children come home for Christmas. It's 9 of us when we all get together. We celebrate Christmas with a big meal and play board games or watch movies with the two teenage grandchildren.
Two of our children live 3 1/2 hours away from home so they come and stay a few days.
With 7 big folks in a small house, it's rather full and very cluttered but for a few days, it does not matter. We have a great time together. There's no room for presents at our house at Christmas.
I put a small Christmas tree in the living room and the big tree goes on the screened in porch.
Not having to worry about shopping has been a big relief for this 75 year older.
Sorry to ask here but can you tell me how I would find my posts? It was just approved but I cant find it. Thanks for any help. Ariela.
When our children became adults and married and have families of Their Own, we give money to them for Christmas I always wrap the money up in a Whimsical manner, we purchased the grandchildren one gift because they will receive gifts from the other set of grandparents, aunts and uncles, School parties and other family and friends. I plan a get-together for the family on Christmas Eve, each family will bring their favorite snack food and dessert or brunch food whichever we decide we want to enjoy on Christmas Eve, I also incorporate my husband's and my favorite snack food dessert and I furnish the beverages.
I think you should simply tell everyone that you cannot and will not be responsible for any of the Christmas preparations any more, as it is too stressful now, and your health comes first. Be firm about it, and do not relent. If they want a merry Christmas badly enough, they will come up with their own celebration. After all these years, you deserve to retire from all that work, especially if they never help and they aren't appreciative. If you have the means to travel, then that might be a good idea. If not, you have the right to do as little as you want to, and have your own quiet celebration at home. Your time is valuable and you should be enjoying it, instead of wearing yourself out. Be kind to yourself! I hope you enjoy a lovely, quiet Christmas this year!
When it becomes clear to your family that you really aren't taking charge of Christmas for them any more, they just might surprise you by stepping up and running it themselves! Who knows? If not, don't worry about it. They have to learn that it's much more fun, and in the Christmas spirit, to share in the preparations than sit by and let one person do all the work!
Have a lovely Christmas!
I think you should simply tell everyone that you cannot and will not be responsible for any of the Christmas preparations any more, as it is too stressful now, and your health comes first. Be firm about it, and do not relent. If they want a merry Christmas badly enough, they will come up with their own celebration. After all these years, you deserve to retire from all that work, especially if they never help and they aren't appreciative. If you have the means to travel, then that might be a good idea. If not, you have the right to do as little as you want to, and have your own quiet celebration at home. Your time is valuable and you should be enjoying it, instead of wearing yourself out. Be kind to yourself! I hope you enjoy a lovely, quiet Christmas this year!
When it becomes clear to your family that you really aren't taking charge of Christmas for them any more, they just might surprise you by stepping up and running it themselves! Who knows? If not, don't worry about it. They have to learn that it's much more fun, and in the Christmas spirit, to share in the preparations than sit by and let one person do all the work!
Have a lovely Christmas!
You don't have to feel guilty for a decision that is way overdue. Tell all your family members that starting this Christmas, things will be done entirely different. Tell them your health and finances leave you no choice. Let them know you will be glad to share the work and expense of a large Christmas dinner, but that this will be your gift to them. They may grumble, but they may have more respect for you in the end. Best wishes.
Holidays should be enjoyable for everyone, including you. Well before Christmas, tell your son and grandchildren what you can and cannot do. You can also tell them if money is tight. They can either accept that the holidays will be lower key or they will step up to the plate if they want more. Don't feel guilty.
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