Every year, we would have Christmas at my mom's house. My family is only me, my mom and grandma, so every year a handful of friends would come celebrate with us. Every Christmas, everyone would stress over who is getting who what. I always thought it was funny because really we were all fighting because we want to give more and more.
Anyways when my mom got diagnosed with cancer, we had one last Christmas. It was me, my mom, and grandma only. I told them "let's not do presents." My mom wanted to still do Christmas for my grandma and me, but she didn't want anything because she wouldn't have time to enjoy it. We all decided we all are having a no present Christmas. Honestly presents were the last thing on our minds.
As sad as it was that Christmas was the best Christmas. Just the three of us together. I learned that the presents isn't what makes Christmas, it's truly just being with the people you love the most. That is the best Christmas present. Thank you for letting me share.
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I think your views on gift giving at Christmas, although maybe not readily accepted by the general public, are indeed, healthy views.
I do not buy Christmas gifts for anyone and ask that they not buy them for me. Exchanging gifts at this time is a man made tradition and has nothing to do with the real meaning of Christmas. As I do not adhere to any religious beliefs, accepting gifts as a part of a religious observance is hard to do, graciously.
And of course, when I ask that I not be given gifts, well meaning friends would try to lay a guilt trip on me. Their response is, ' Doug, I like you. It is a time of gift giving. I want to give you a gift whether I receive one from you, or not. Why would you deny me the pleasure of giving you a gift'? I give in.
As one who does not celebrate Christmas, and one who would never observe the 'Commercialized Christmas'. I would rather, and do, accept gifts from friends, just because. Just because I appreciate friendships. Just because I am in need of something and someone wants to help out. Just because a friend sees something that reminds them of me and they think I would like to have it.
Giving gifts out of religious tradition or a sense of obligation is to me, not very practical. And I often think of those less fortunate people who feel ashamed and guilty when they can't afford nice and costly gifts for their children.
I too, lost my Mother to cancer...and shortly after Christmas. It was a very sad time. Gifts given or received held no value for me. Only the gathering of a family, for whatever reason, complete with the presence of the beloved Mother, had any true meaning.
In Tahiti where I live, Christmas is for the children. Normally the adults do not exchange gifts and the major focus here is on the family and the dinner we cook on the 24th and again on the 25th. It has been many years since I have seen a gift under my Christmas tree. There were a few years I did not even put one up. But I do love the bright lights and I miss the smells of a real tree. Here in Tahiti we do not have real trees and must buy an artificial tree if we want one in our homes.
When you go to our markets at this time of the year all you see is tons and tons of toys to buy for the kids. There is no focus on the adults and the major focus here is on the really young children. You will find more toys for children from the age of 1 to 10. As for the older children, the focus is mainly on the expensive gifts such as computers, tablets, and phones. The only thing I do for the holidays is send my daugher and her family some money because they live so far away. Other than this I cook a big meal on the 24th and again on the 25th and enjoy my day with my partner and his family.
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