My boyfriend is 22 and I'm 16. We've been together for 16 months. He has a really good job and a lot of money and he plans on spending a lot of money on me for Christmas. I don't have a job since I'm still in high school, but I wanna buy him something and I don't have a lot of money. I don't wanna be a bad girlfriend and buy him something cheap and then get really good stuff from him. What should I get him?
By s2amandas2
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I think you get him what you can. If it comes from your heart, that's the most important thing. If he doesn't care for it b/c it wasn't expensive enough, you might want to think hard about being with him. Plenty of things have value that don't cost a lot of money.
Best of luck! I hope you find the perfect gift for him, and that he loves it.
It doesn't have to be a material present and if he truly loves you more than expensive items he won't expect a material gift and if he does expect it then it's time to kick him to the curb (I say this from experience).
How about simply buying a nice Christmas Card to give to him on Christmas Eve (or a day or two before) when he comes in the door but hand it to him with a big bow tied around your waist and peaceful Christmas music playing in the background and a candlelight table set for a homecooked meal ready to serve?
To me anyway, the romantic jesture and quality time spent together is worth far more than an item.
Why is a 16 year old going with a 22 year old? If you were my daughter you would just barely be allowed to date.
First I'm going to address the gift-giving. A reasonable and mature partner will understand when the other one doesn't earn as much money, and therefore the gifts will not cost as much. And just because something costs a lot of money, that doesn't make it "good." There are plenty of things in the stores that cost a lot and are really cheap junk. Homemade gifts can be very meaningful, and while they might cost less in materials, have much more sentimental value. When I was a kid, I made stationery sets for my friends, pillows, crocheted scarves, etc. I had a friend who moved to Germany, and I bought a nice frame and put my picture in it for him.
I'm concerned that you would consider yourself a "bad girlfriend" because your gift costs less. Are you putting that label on yourself, or has he done something to make you feel that way?
And I'm concerned about your age difference. I know you didn't ask for this, but since you brought up the age difference, I have to address it. At sixteen it might be nice to have a twenty-two year old boyfriend. But thinking back, I don't think any of the "normal" twenty two year old guys I knew would want to be with a sixteen year old. Unless he was taking advantage of her naivete and the situation. I don't know you, and I don't know your boyfriend. It could be different. But please proceed with caution. Don't give him too much of your heart (or anything else) too soon. The girls I knew who messed around with guys so much older ended up getting in trouble, or with terribly broken hearts (sometimes both). You can do the math, he's six years older than you. At your age, that's over one-third of your life. To me, something about that seems creepy. You've been with him for over a year, so that means you were 14 or 15 when you got together. That seems even worse. I hate to sound like a Negative Nelly, but please be careful.
I wish you the best. If you're still worried about how much he'll spend on you, and how little you'll spend on him, ask him not to spend so much. If you explain that it makes you uncomfortable, or that it makes you feel bad, he should do as you wish (again, if he's reasonable and mature). Be careful!
Please read, re-read and read once again the post by "Mrs.Story" (below). I understand that this young man is very important in your life, but "Mrs.Story's" remarks are kind and wise. Gift giving has nothing to do with the price of the gift and everything to do with the thought and intent behind the gift.
Expensive gifts are nice, but the heartfelt ones mean the most. Just don't forget that, ever! Hope you have an enlightening Christmas season and Best wishes for the New Year!
I will make it short and sweet. He is too old for you. Way too old. Get out of the relationship before you get hurt in more ways than one.
I am glad I am not the only one concerned with the age difference. Where I am from, that could be construed as statutory rape, depending on the stage of the relationship.
The local statues of your state comes to mind. Are your parents really ok with this? It also means you have been with him since you were 15 and he was 21, too young and way old enough to know what is right and not so right.
I also agree with mrs.story and I also ask what are your parents are thinking about this relationship. If you were already grown and on your own I would not have a problem with your age difference at all but you are still a child and he is an adult. You were still a child and he was still an adult when you became boyfriend and girlfriend. Something is just not right with his attraction to a child :-( I promise I am not being mean but please be careful and protect your heart, mind and body! And remember, all of us leaving our thoughts and advice for you were also 16 years old once upon a time.
It just doesn't make sense for you to compare the gifts you two will be exchanging since he's so much older than you AND working! If you don't have any money, you can't buy him anything. It's that simple. But you can cut slips of paper, write one thought on each that you really like about him, roll them up, put them in a jar with a lid, decorate the jar, and label it "You Mean So Much".
Now for the "lecture"! Please read over the previous posts, and my thoughts as well. A lot of us have been in a similar situation as yours and worry about you, we want you to proceed carefully in this relationship. Be sure your guy is treating you with dignity and respect, that he listens to you (really listens), that he wants what's best for you, that he wants you to finish school, etc.
Good luck!
Three cheers to everyone here who gave this young lady advice regarding the age difference situation!
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